Shawn P. Conlin

Losing It!


Current Weight Loss
Starting Weight: 260 Lbs
Target Weight: 200 Lbs
3 lbs
Buckle Up!

I hate diets. I've never had time for an exercise routine. I really love desserts, snacks and large portions. You can probably see where this is going, but just in case I will spell it out—I am an old, fat man.

Here is a bit of background so you can understand where I am coming from as we start this journey. (Skip Tragic Background Story)

In my youth, I could eat anything and everything and could barely keep any weight on. Some of it was pure metabolism, but I also spent more time out an about walking, biking, etc. It was awkward as a teen being 5' 11" and weighing 125 lbs. I was thrilled when I first started putting on weight in my twenties. The problem was, I didn't stop. Once I broke 200 in my late 20s or early 30s, it was all downhill from there. My early 40s saw me at 275, which is when I decided I needed to make some changes to improve my health. That was first time I put any serious effort into weight loss and I was able to get back down to around 185. Had I kept up the routine, I wouldn't be where I am today.

Without going into too many details, my 40s haven't been kind. Home life was touch and go raising a blended family after an ugly divorce and complete loss of income during the previous few years. To compensate, I placed an unhealthy focus on my salary and sacrificed the health I had to long, work days, soul-sucking commutes, and late night side jobs. My diet—meaning that which I eat—became more about comfort and convenience than nutrition. This also took its toll on what remained of my mental health; leaving me increasingly anxious and depressed. This helped transition me into another dangerous place in which I was drinking alcohol regularly and sometimes heavily. I've always been a social drinker and enjoyed unwinding with a glass of wine or some brandy, but this was different. I was drinking to keep life tolerable and this did not help me with my weight. All of this was pre-Covid.

When 2020 came, I thought things were looking up. I was having some issues at work but I had a remote job that I actually enjoyed, I was in therapy for various issues (cPSTD, depression, anxiety, etc.), and was working to get my other health under control. This first couple of months were rough as reality chipped away at my optimistic outlook. Covid swept the country—I had a mild case they laid me out for two weeks but no hospitalization. At this point, my weight was up to 285 lbs and I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. This meant making some changes but that didn't sit well with my mental health and when I lost my job...well, that pretty much unhinged me. Since then, I have struggled with my health in general: carpal tunnel surgery that repaired numbness but left me in pain and unable to put pressure on my wrists, diabetes complications, an additional level of trauma for my cPTSD, and now the complete inability to get through an interview without shaking, studdering, and crying. Oh, did I mention that despite chronic pain, severe emotional issues, poor general health, and an inability to work for more than an hour or two, I am not considered disabled by the state.

That more or less brings us to today and the beginning of a wondrous experiment.

Starting yesterday, I have decided to make a conscious effort to lose weight and modify my diet to better control my diabetes. Sure I've done it before and then slipped up but now I have a pressing reason to do so...spite. I am sick of having people (doctors and others) tell me that all of my issues are the result of my weight and my drinking and now I'm going to prove to those assholes that they are wrong and they really need to pull their heads out of their asses and start doing their jobs. Alternately, I may prove them correct—highly unlikely considering I was messed up long before the drinking and the weight—in which case I will deliver an apology and skip off to live my new healthy life.

The reason you may be interested in following along on this journey is for the pure entertainment of watching a normal person stumble through a common problem and doing it while eating normal food and doing minimal exercise. Honestly, who really has time for fad diets and hitting the gym 5 days a week?

As we go forward, I will be sharing recipes, meal plans, and other things I use along the way. My hope is that I can make following my journey worth while for someone else even if I completely screw it up along the way. I know the minor changes can make a big difference, I did this once already. Let's see if I can do it again.

Social Share Buttons and Icons powered by Ultimatelysocial